better left unsaid
by tatty ted
Summary: Him, her, a bottle of wine and a whole lot of mistakes. - —Roisin/Mike, Set after X; Sins of the Father.


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**better left unsaid**  
_can we bring yesterday back around?_

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She holds onto a lot of secrets, DCI Connor does. It's merely because she can hold onto them. She doesn't trust so that makes it easier never to tell anyone. Girls are bitches and men, well men just want one thing don't they?

Nobody knows the secrets she holds inside and the demons she has to fight daily. The life she's left behind to get where she is, the sacrifices she's made and the decisions that continue to haunt her to this day.

She lives with it, she has no choice.

He's paranoid, he's drunk and he's always got a sharp tongue when he's pissed. She's fiesty, she definitely does not put up with shit and that's why they clash an awful lot. They really are too alike, too similar and that's why it ends up in a massive argument.

He thinks she's trying attack him about his situation with his son. He doesn't think she has a fucking clue what she's going on about, she doesn't have kids so how would she know? He doesn't realise that she knows exactly what he's going through, she's been there three years previously.

"You don't have kids, you don't know what they're like. They fight between themselves, it means nothing!"

"Oh I'm sorry are you saying that fighting between your kids means nothing? I'm sorry, did your son Richard not just go main and kill swans?"

"Don't even go there, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about!"

"Oh really and you do?" She hates how he always pushes her over that edge. That line, that boundary. She tries to tell herself she won't raise to it but she does. All the fucking time. It's him though, it's the way he makes her feel; "I know what I'm talking about, you think it means nothing, sibling's rivality but it fucking does!"

They shut up screaming and shouting at each other for a moment. He stares at her, wondering how the hell she knows all about children when she doesn't have any. He pisses off after that, slams the door closed behind him and acts like a sulky child.

It's only afterwards, when they've both calmed down and stop hurling insults at each other that they go for a drink. It's the local pub, quiet and falling to pieces and she always ends up sitting in the smoking area because of him.

He orders a whiskey, she orders a double vodka. Usually she drinks wine but she needs something stronger.

She doesn't know why she's the first one to apologise, "I'm sorry."

He looks at her. There's definitely something troubling her and he blames himself, slightly for the way he reacted earlier. "No I'm sorry."

It's not easy to apologise to each other because saying sorry is quite difficult for them both. It's another part of their personality that clashes, their inability to apologise when things go wrong, "I," she swallows, "I wasn't making it personal or trying to attack you as a parent."

There's a silence. She takes a sip of her vodka; "I—"

"What did you mean earlier when you said about sibling rivality?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "I was just saying shit, it didn't mean anything."

"Roisin?" They make eye contact for a brief second and she swirls the liquid around the glass. She necks the tipple in one and slams the glass down on the table, "I was just saying metaphorically that sometimes fighting between siblings goes a lot further than either of us now and understand."

He gives her that look and she knows it's pointless lying. She sighs, "Three years ago I was in your situation." She sees his questioning look and she sighs, she reaches for his whiskey even though she doesn't like the liquid and necks that too.

"I've got, I had twins Mike nineteen years ago. This time three years ago, my son stabbed to death my daughter. He was jealous of her, completely fucking jealous of her A stars and the way she had made a life for herself. How she was going to be something and he wasn't. He claimed,"

She pauses for a moment, "He claimed the voices in his head told him to do it but it turned out, there were no voices. It was a simple case of jealousy. He hated his sister and so he killed her. I lost my twins that day Mike and you know, I blame myself."

He doesn't say anything, he can't say anything because all words are lost. He didn't realise that all this time she had a clue, she knew exactly what he was going through. She stands and mutters she's going to the bar, obviously going to buy something stronger.

He touches her arm, "Roisin?"

"What?"

Her gaze bores through him and he answers back, "You should've spoken to me."

"Why," she moves her arm out of his grasp, "it's in the past, it's forgotten about."

He watches as she walks to the bar, orders three vodka shots and necks them back like they're the last thing on earth. He sighs deeply before she comes back to the table with a bottle of wine and a lagar. She sits, crosses one leg over the other and knows how tonight's going to end.

Her, him, a bottle of wine, tears and so many drunken mistakes.

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**jottings** / based on the argument in Sins of The Father and how maternal Roisin appeared in Closure. If you like it enough to favourite/alert, please remember to leave me a lovely review, merci.


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